monster
smashed

a dbk review

BOO-ze 1

"the dewey fizz"

Beware: This concoction of raw egg and heavy cream will have you foaming at the mouth. Based on Scream.

"None of the ingredients in this drink belong together"
    - Allison O’Reilly, diversions staff writer


"I was told it contained dairy and a raw egg. I don’t know what I expected"
    - Zach Phillips, diversions staff writer

What we used: 2 oz. coconut water, 1 oz. heavy cream, 2 oz. club soda, Black gel frosting, Egg white, Squeeze of lime juice, 1 oz. vanilla syrup (1 cup water, 1 cup sugar, splash of vanilla extract)

What we did: Find your inner “BOO-casso” and create ghostly eyes and a mouth on the inside of your glass in gel. As it drips spookily, mix water of coconut, juice of pineapple, heavy cream of cow, essence of lime and white of unborn chicken, along with vanilla simple syrup prepared the same way as in Broomstick Punch. Top off with soda of club.

BOO-ze 2

"gravesite grotesquery"

This mass of vodka-drenched gummy worms will keep you living long into the night. Based on Night of the Living Dead.

"Yo, I’m slumped off these edibles."
    - Cameron Neimand, diversions senior staff writer


"Gotta love the combination of both ooze and booze."
    - Casey Kammerle, online managing editor

What we used: 2 bags of gummy worms, 8 oz. of vodka, 6 oz. Jagermeister, 1/2 cup raw (turbinado) sugar, 3 oz. unflavored gelatin, 4 oz. lemon juice

Multimedia Editor Jay Reed captures the devouring of "Gravesite Grotesquery."
Multimedia Editor Jay Reed captures the devouring of “Gravesite Grotesquery.”

What we did: Soak gummy worms in vodka overnight. Simmer lemon juice, water and sugar over low heat. As the sugar disappears, add gelatin, stirring constantly until it vanishes. Snuff out the heat and mix in the Jager. Banish your concoction to the frozen reaches of the fridge for 20 minutes. Spread the vodka gummy worms on a baking sheet. Pour the liquid mixture over top and return it to the icebox for several hours. Sprinkle more sugar on top just before serving.

BOO-ze 3

"ectoplasm"

Nothing gets you glowing like alcohol, sugar...and lots of caffeine. Based on Ghostbusters.

"Fuck, this the one I blacked out on."
    - Cameron Neimand, diversions senior staff writer


"Burnt my finger on the marshmallow so I’m not about it."
    - Casey Kammerle, online managing editor

What we used: 1/2 oz. whipped cream-flavored vodka, 1/2 oz. melon schnapps, 1/2 oz. Mountain Dew, Marshmallow

What we did: Combine liquids in your most bone-chilling chalice. Engulf the marshmallows in hellfire then douse them in vodka and drop them on top.

BOO-ze 4

"piranha head punch"

The bite of this liquor-filled punch hurts. A lot. Based on Piranha.

"It’s just Brandy, and not the popular 90s singer who went to prom with Kobe."
    - Cameron Neimand, diversions senior staff writer


"I had to take a seat after this one."
    - Hallie Miller, special projects editor

What we used: 30 oz. whiskey, 6 oz. brandy, 7 oz. lemon juice, 1 cup sugar, 1 can pear halves, Lemon slices, Whole cloves

What we did: Mix the various poisons in your favorite cauldron — though, fair warning, you might want to cut back on the brandy. Fashion the pear halves into ghoulish fish corpses bubbling up from the deep, and poke in clove eyes for desired effect. Drop them into the fish bowl, along with the lemon slices, and you are set.

BOO-ze 5

"broomstick punch"

This non-alcoholic mixture gets even witchier with some champagne. Based on The Blair Witch Project.

"This bad boy tastes a like fall-themed Axe body spray."
    - Cameron Neimand, diversions senior staff writer


"I think Starbucks could make something good out of this, but right now it needs work."
    - Allison O’Reilly, diversions staff writer

What we used: 3 bottles sparkling grape juice, 1 bottle grape juice, 15 oz. lemon juice, 1 cup sugar, 6 cinnamon sticks, 10 oz. spiced syrup (1 cup sugar, 1 cup water, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 3 whole cloves)

What we did: Dissolve the sugar into water over a crackling fire (or a saucepan over low heat). Add the spices and strain the saccharine potion before mixing it with the various juices in a cauldron. Fashion crosses from cinnamon sticks and string (or rubber bands) to keep the demons away.

BOO-ze 6

"kid cob"

Drink your veggies with this frightful mix of corn water and whiskey. Based on Children of the Corn.

"Stay as far away from this one as you can."
    - Tom Hausman, news photo editor


"Tastes freshly shucked."
    - Anna Muckerman, diversions editor

What we used: 1/2 oz. white whiskey, 1/2 oz. corn water, Splash of lemon juice, Maraschino cherry, Sugar to taste

Photo Editor Tom Hausman expertly mixes "KidCob."
Photo Editor Tom Hausman expertly mixes “Kid Cob.”

What we did: Strain a can of corn and collect the water. Then, co-mingle it with a few dastardly kernels and the whiskey and lemon juice. Add the cherry and sugar to taste.

About the Project

Based on the book Let’s Get Monster Smashed by Jon and Marc Chaiet, this Diamondback special project is all about having fun. We took six recipes and tried them out at a Halloween party in early October. As our staff members sipped and slurped through wild combinations, we asked them to write reviews that captured their gut reactions. This project includes recipes and tips for you to try at home. We hope you enjoy dressing your apartment in spider webs and skeletons and having as much fun as we did at a Halloween party to remember (or not).

Credits

Concept by Anna Muckerman, photos by Tom Hausman, Behind-the-scenes photos by Elliot Scarangello and Evan Kramer, video by Jay Reed, web design by Lexus Drumgold and Akshay Guthal, design concept by Evan Berkowitz, edited by Hallie Miller, reviews by Diamondback staff

From left to right, Staff Writer Lillian Andemicael, Opinion Editor Max Foley-Keene, and staff writers Zach Phillips, Cameron Neimand and Allison O’Reilly try
        the non-alcoholic "Dewey Fizz."
Opinion Editor Max Foley-Keene gives the non-alcholohic "Dewey Fizz" a thumbs down. To his right, diversions staff writers Zach Phillips, Cameron Neimand and Allison O’Reilly join in on the fun.